Just Hold Me
by Jasmine Syms
Summary: When Arthur dies, Merlin decides to work against his destiny. He will bring back Arthur at any cost.


"Merlin, there's nothing you can do." The dragon told him, almost pitying the boy in his efforts to save Arthur.

He paused in dragging Arthur to the lake. "I failed?"

"No, young warlock, for all that you have dreamt of building has come to pass."

Merlin readjusted his hold on Arthur, grunting as he did so. "I can't lose him!" He shouted. "He's my friend."

"Know no man, no matter how great, can know his destiny. Some lives have been foretold, Merlin."

He looked down at Arthur. "No. Don't give me that. Every time someone talks about my destiny, I try to change it, and in the end I cause it anyway. Every time someone mentions something in my future, it is unavoidable. And I have dealt with it every time. I took the excuse 'Oh, it's destiny, you can't change it.' Well, not today. Today, I am changing my destiny."

"Merlin, I'm sorry-" The dragon began attempting to reason with the boy.

"No, you're not. You probably knew this would happen from the beginning. I've had enough of destiny controlling me." He began fumbling through his pockets for something.

"You seemed to be more enthusiastic about your destiny when it was just about protecting Arthur."

"That was because we had a common interest." He found what he was looking for and removed it from his pocket.

"What is that?" The dragon asked.

"Something I've been saving for if things got desperate. I remember the last time everything said that Arthur would die, and I stopped it. With this. Water from the cup of life. I stored it in here to bring back to him, and after he used it, I realized- there's still a few drops left. I wasn't sure if it would do anything, but I saved it anyway. And this time, I know more about magic. I will make sure it is me who pays the price." He opened the top of the flask and emptied what was left into Arthur's mouth.

"Merlin- this is not what you are supposed to do!"

"I don't care! Just- leave. Let me do this in peace."

The dragon flew away, leaving Merlin alone with Arthur.

"I will gladly give my life for Arthur's." He mumbled to himself. "He is worth a hundred of me." Then he began speaking in the ancient language of the old religion- just as Nimueh had done years ago. He held his forehead to Arthur's and begged that he would return. It couldn't be too late. He closed his eyes- and felt breath on his face.

"Merlin?" Arthur mumbled. He opened his eyes. "Gah! Merlin, do you have to be so close?" He shoved Merlin off of him.

"Sorry." He chuckled as he stood up, brushing off his clothes. "You were dead."

"I was- well how did you cure me?" He looked around. "We made it? We made it to the lake?"

Merlin didn't answer the question, but avoided Arthur's gaze as he said "We should head back now, the kingdom's waiting for you."

"Wait a minute- you said I was dead, not unconscious. It wouldn't cure me if I was dead." He stood up. "Merlin, tell me- how did you bring me back?" He stared into his eyes.

"I-I'm sorry." Merlin whispered before collapsing. His feet refused to hold him any longer. Arthur caught him and gently lowered him to the ground. "Merlin? Merlin, you idiot, you never do as you're told. You should have just let me die."

"My job is to protect you." Merlin mumbled meekly. "You're more important than me."

"Don't be ridiculous, you're worth more than anyone." He dragged Merlin's body into the lake and held him as he floated. "What do I do now, nothing's happening. They said the Lake of Avalon would heal-"

"It would have healed you, before you died. I switched places with you, there's nothing you can do."

"How come you get to decide who lives and who dies?" Arthur is unable to hold back his tears any longer.

"Because I am a powerful sorcerer and I know how." Merlin smiles.

"What- what am I supposed to do?"

"Just hold me, you dollop-head." Merlin's eyes closed and Arthur stayed there with him for hours, just holding his body as he floated until he decided it was time to let go, and he let his body get carried away as he turned to leave. He gave one final look back in Merlin's direction. "I love you."


End file.
